Here’s the thing, I’ve been having reservations for a few days and had sort of hoped that the FOSS talent pool was so deep that my lack of Software Engineering experience and my hit-or-miss involvement in the Fedora Project would filter me out rather quickly.
Then a couple of things happened today. First was an email from Paul Frields, the standing FPL, trying to nail down a time for a Phone interview with someone at Red Hat.
The second was a cattle call IRC ping for a meeting that was taking place face-to-face somewhere else.
So why should that lead me to withdraw? Let me explain…
Knowing my prompt rejection was off the table, I had to get myself in gear and prepare for wowing everyone I met in the interview process. That means running through possible questions and answers… etc.
That process, for me, can be a lot like a psychological test. The first thing that comes to mind as I begin the Q&A practice is very enlightening for me because it’s not always the answer I would or should give, but it’s usually very accurate as to how I really feel about something.
So while I’m reading and prepping for the call, I got another pointless IRC meeting ping from the guys at Open Video Chat.
So as I’m getting myself polished and sorting through proper answers, I was getting pissy and telling OVC to stop wasting my time… well if my other insights didn’t tell me anything this did. And what it said was “this is a bad fit.”
You see, FPL is not about what I can do, it’s about what I could help the community do and it just doesn’t seem like I should be so cranky about a pointless meeting ping.
In this case, the right answer would have been to go over to RIT and
slap the guys around politely explained that they need a lesson on transparency and IRC meetings. Instead, I had the eureka moment I needed to have. I finally could see that I’m ok letting the opportunity slip by. That I’m ok with not being one of the few women leading FOSS projects. I’m also ok not trying to be a rising star.
It’s not failure, it’s just the right thing to do.